So where was I, right, hair, especially going bald. We are a bad bad bad, I mean baaaad & mean species we humans, we make fun of people who dont have no hair on their head. That's not right. I mean I am not hairy at all. I am smooth bodied and have difficulty growing a beard. I mean I tried, very hard to look all rugged but never succeeded, stupid thing just wont grow. No one said nothing about that like ever. Like oh why dont you have body hair? Nooooooo. Like never. But moment there is like a spot on my head all hell broke loose, dude you are getting bald. Dude you are so old. OMG bro, you got a bald spot and its all downhill from here. We are bad bad people, I tell ya, bad. We take pleasure in making our own feel conscious that there is something wrong with him when there is nothing. I mean technically there is a bunch of things wrong with me but getting a bald spot it should be nothing.
Anyways this article is not about being bald but a bald spot. Anyone who has ever known me will tell you I am not someone who takes too much care about how I look, what dress I wear etc etc. I never ever did give much thought on that. I only go to buy clothing because the t-shirts, shirts are either loosing buttons or lost them, color has faded, there are holes in them or somehow for some reason I looked at my wardrobe and could not find anything I liked. Other than that it is painful for anyone to take me shopping. I hate it. Same is the way for my grooming session. Take shower, comb your hair once, put some deo and oh right feeling dry now where is that stupid lotion. A quick rub and I am done. It's sad for my parents, my friends, people who cares about me. They buy me some stuff and its in the same plastic cover even after 2 years and it is not that I did not like it. I just kept on wearing the same stuff. It's difficult to bear with me if I am with them in a shopping mall. I am sometimes intolerable. I will give you an example, I still wear a black color t shirt which I got during festival season when I was in 7th standard. I still have that, wear it from time to time and it still fits. Loosing hair was never a big deal for me. I always thought yea whatever someday it's gonna happen. Will see whatever, who cares.
Turns out it's kind of weird how conscious I became when someone told me for the first time, what is that, lower your head for a moment, OMG you have a bald spot. Soon you will be all bald. Seconds before that conversation took place I was thinking of having one of the nicest burgers with fries in town and than it all went away something happened, dont know what. I became defensive, instant response No I am not. I mean dont get me wrong, I have no illusion of eternal youth this and that, I am very very comfortable in my own skin, I am already near 80 in my head but for someone to point a finger and saying something like it was all so very wrong made me feel bad. What surprised me was I felt BAD! I tried acting cool like I dont care. whatever. But moment he left, I went in front of the mirror, bend in all possible directions & ways just to catch where it was. THE BALD SPOT! Than brain starting working, I took selfies. Like a bunch of them. From different angles and stuff. I was still not convinced like where it was? Than I did what I could think. My uncle came for a visit and I asked him. Do you think I am getting bald? Where is the bald spot? And I was informed it's not a bald spot your hair is thinning at the back, no worries. In 5-6 years you will have a bald spot like mine. My face turned into that sad little emoticon which we all use. 5-6 years sounded like by next week.
Than something even more interesting started to happen. I started noticing people guys my age,younger, older men, whoever on the street, on Telly, in the store and started doing silent comparative analysis. The dude is my age/older/younger=bald spot nearly 60%=I will be like that in 10 years not 5. Phew such a relief. Started moving around the store camera to catch the back of my head more to see what it actually looked like. Obviously doing it very discreetly not being obvious.
Than the final thing. I gave up. I said to myself hell with it all, can't see. Cant find it. So I dont care. Positive thinking. 15 minutes later I started caring again. Than the last thing I could think off, kneel down in front of bed, Oh god, please anything but this and I am not even asking you to divide the red sea just put some hair back on my head. They will all start making fun of me. Anyways I am weird dont want anything more added to it. Come on. It's just hair, it doesn't even mean anything. I want em back. Please let them grow back.
Spoke to someone close to me and he had a chuckle, said, probably nothing, dont worry you are not getting bald. Showed it to my friends and all is like yea dude, true. But who care never mind bro. Not one, I mean not one made fun of me. Everything was back to being so nice again.
I honestly got upset with my hair. I mean I am telling you my hair is silky smooth, long and is naturally brown in color not black. It's there in the front, its there in side, its there at the back. But just on the top of my head, where I can't see it's thinning. And as I have been told it will not be there in 5-6 years. I mean come on!!! Getting bald is all normal. Can't it do it the normal way. Like receding hairline. I mean what is wrong with that!! Why a spot? How cruel. I am telling you all men have insecurities we are just too much MEN to show it to anyone. We show it to only that one person who we are 200% sure will never ever judge us. People might think it will be the wives but they will be wrong to assume so.
Final thoughts on this subject - Things(/People) you take for granted when not there, all of a sudden they become mighty important for reasons never known to you. How something so very insignificant in my understanding as hair can all of a sudden take plenty of my thinking time. How I felt bad for all the people who has ever become bald. And how I almost dreaded, for a moment in time that perhaps youth has left me for good. It's a bald spot now soon it will be something else and the vigor of my youth will soon be a thing of the past. Than I remembered when I was 25 I was told in an HR interview we have an age limit and you look too old for this job. Now that memory made my day. I remembered that it was all downhill from the time I got out of college and I was back to being me again. Who cares hair or not hair. Even if there is only a single strand of hair left on my head I will comb it, shampoo it and I will look as cool as I was always do...I mean inner ME...matters. :) :) ....cooler than Morpheus!!
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